Greetings Losers!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

I have taken over the mind of this mere flesh mortal!!!

MUAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!

SIMPLETONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, on the matter of 3D effects: they are nothing compared to the kickass kickassyness of MY night-goggle-vision! It is teeth inhaling crazy to the level of most crack addictions! I have 4-D effects, because where I am from, it. is. AMAZING!

Now, children. Women. Men alike! Listen round to the tale of me, myself, and I.
I was born in the storm on Jupiter, right in the middle of the cloud. I ate cabbage and jellybeans until I turned 21 in which case, due to unexplainable circumstance, I moved to Earth and ATE AUSTRALIANS!!!!!!!!!


Watch out Wisconson, I'm comming for youuuuU!!!!!!!

After I ate all of the Australians, I moved to the far east and began the east indian trade route. While trading, Johnny Depp and I had four-thousand babies and moved to the North Pole where Santa Clause and I opened up the franchise of "gift-giving" where we recieve all profits and give them to...NOT THE POOR! But us, ourselves, and the people we love the most: us.


Bonne Nuit.


Next Time: how I saved Robin Hood.

jesus fucking christ.
i can't fucking take this shit anymore.
i have to fucking force feed her and now she just spits it back out like she fucking WANTS to die.
yeah, i think i wanna die too.

jesus fucking christ, i'm so fucking pissed off.
i want to just slitafuckingthroat.
she's going to fucking die.

I SWEAR TO GOD.
I AM GOING TO DIE.
I FUCKING NEED HER.

fuck this mother fucking world and it's fucking "cycles"
"oh, casey, quit being dramatic, death is a part of life"
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
people have like NO hearts.
fucking cuntassbitch.
'

it's not fair.
i always lose something i love.
i've lost so many good friends, like derek and jake.
they were my fucking blood brothers and they both died.
i didn't even get to say goodbye.
and my dad?
i was fucking four years old.
i've never had a stable father figure.
no wonder why i'm such a fucking screwed up slut.
i'd give anything to fucking bring them back.
and the year my dad died, grandpa died.
left everyone behind.
i fucking hate them for dying.
i'm such an angry person it's not even funny.
people ask me why i cut, i say it's a way of releasing pain, they don't understand, THEY'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
no one i know knows what the fuck is going on with me.
no one understands what i do.
my life has been full of loss and i'm sick of it.
i'd rather fucking lose myself.
people act like i should stfu because i have nothing to complain about.
EVERYONE has SOMETHING to complain about.
mine just happens to be that i lose things.
the one thing i haven't lost has been will.
somewhere along the way, i've lost my best friends, my mother, my nana, everything i hold dear.
i think i'm going to cry now.

FUCK THIS WORLD.
I HATE IT.

EXCITING!!!

So, here it is...

-Will's going to college, well, not physically...online, but at least he's doing it.
-I'm getting another poem published and I'm in the semi-finals for the contest at poetry.com!
-Will's going away for the weekend and I get to miss him, and I get to catch up on my Economics...that I've been procrastinating on for a week. Bad Casey!
-I'm watching Degrassi's 40 Go-Thereiest Moments!!
-SPRING BREAK!
-I'm turning 17!
-I actually thought ALL my friends forgot that my birthday was this month...turns out, no one did. Haha...woops. I should have moe faith. (holds up lighter)
-Wait...I should be doing ECONOMICS!!!

Lol, in the kitchen, when I saw the mail on the counter, I looked at it to see if I had any more college mail and I saw something from poetry.com and on the envelope it said "Your poem is getting published!" or something along those lines. I SCREAMED. It was great. I still can't get over the excitement and I feel great. I mean, I've had one published before, but that was in 4th grade. It was about cats. This time it was about something more real. It was about rape. What a change! Ha, kittens are lovely. Get it? Haha.

Biggest Degrassi shocking moment, GO-THEREIEST MOMENT: J.T. Yorke DIES.

*-mack-* p.s. love you, william.

I am losing my best friend. I've realized over the past months that I'm losing sight of who she is and why she's my best friend. I find myself talking and ranting to other people about her. Things I've already told her, but still. I rant and rave about how I don't like it when her and her boyfriend kiss in front of me and crap. And that I just don't like them dating, but I do respect her decisions. It's her life...apparently, I can't be a part of it anymore. It's been a long time since we've just had a her and me time. A girls' night. I find it awkward to talk to her. It's easier talking to her mom. I find myself disgusted with her at times and I don't know why. We've been snippy over little things. Like, who the 38th president was. I was right, but that's besides the point. The point is, she doesn't spend a lot of time with her boyfriend, she works, she's grumpy and I find myself saying that I hate her. I've said that once, but, it still hit me that I could even say that. She's my sister. Or maybe used to be more of one. I'm trying to grip onto what's left of her. She's changed since this "love". I admit, I've changed since my love, but I just don't get it anymore. I don't see the point. I can never talk to her when I need her, I don't a girlfriend to share my problems with, I have no girlfriend to share happy moments with and I just don't have a plain girlfriend willing to hang anytime I wanna get together. I can't tell her anything anymore. Granted, I understand she has work and has a boyfriend, but, we've grown apart. And are still growing apart. I find myself wondering if she even knows who I am anymore. I'm pretty sure she doesn't. We used to be so close and know everything in eachother's lives. Now I'm the last one to know anything about her life and she's completely oblivious as to what's going on in mine. We don't talk as often. We never get time to. Even though I go over there almost everyday after school. Looks like I'm going shopping for a new girlfriend to talk to. Any takers? -[mack]- ********** p.s. Love ya Stinky. [muah]

<3 <3 <3

At this moment, you mean everything. So, I got a new ringtone on my cell phone. I bet you can't guess what it is! It's from Wakefield...come on, you can do it...."C'mon baby". I love that song. Of course it was the only song they had from Wakefield. I wish I could get a Degrassi ringtone, but they don't have my carrier. (Verizon.) I'm really sweaty. I was dancing and then my mom called, so, I stopped to talk with her, then I told her that the freezer wasn't running right, so she asked me to switch all the food in the stand-up freezer in the garage to the one in the kitchen and throw out any food I wouldn't eat or wasn't good. I pretty much threw away all the gross meats and anything that wasn't good, or I thought had already expired. Before I told her that the freezer wasn't working right, she asked me to put in a load of towels for laundry. Haha, so, I did all that. Now I feel kind of productive. I wish I could clean. I can't because, even though this house is a m-e-s-s, I have no idea where she wants anything. Cleaning the entire house is something my mom is going to have to do. When I have a house of my own with Will, I'll make sure it's clean. He's a slob and will through anything on the floor and leave it there until I pick it up or I yell at him to. His grandfather still does his laundry for him, but I don't blame his grandpa because he's got nothing else to do all day. I want to be a housewife so I can keep the house spick and span. If I'm good enough, I can keep it clean and be a psychologist. (or radiologist.)Haven't decided yet. I wanna be an intern for radiology before I decide to go into that field. But, if neither works out, I'd be a great secretary. I'd love working in an office like my mom does. I don't see why she's going to college to get a better job. We do fine and he job is nice. Her boss treats her right and everyone there loves her. Well...fears her...because she's really a heartless bitch...and will tear anyone who gets in her way to a million kajillion pieces....BUT, her job is awesome. I'd love to do faxes all day. Haha.

Will and I have shopped 2 days straight. I'm going to take the initiative and make him stay home with me and we can find something to do here. Like, tickle fights, and play the sims together. Something fu and unproductive and something that doesn't waste our time and money. Shopping is a waste if you over-abuse it. We're supposed to go to WalMart and Big Lots and the mall tonight, but that just isn't going to fall through, because I wanna stay home. I wanna dance and have fun. Big Lots cuz I wanted to show him a teddy bear and maybe get some snacks and then WalMart cuz I wanna get this one make-up thing they have there and maybe look at jeans or something and then the mall because he wants to go there. We're such mall rats together. I almost convinced him to go to Bealls Outlet with me, but it was too late and they were just closing last night.

I feel light today. I ate some cereal and had a diet coke and I danced and then ata (all of the above.) Hell yeah. We had Taco Hell last night too. It was damn good. I want some right now. Haha, I could eat Taco Bell ALL day. Maybe 24/7. I just LOVE tacos.

Will's mom died on this day. December 28th. I forget which year, but, it makes me sad for him. Even though I know almost exactly what he went through because we both lost our parents because of cancer when we were young, I just don't know what to say to him when he thinks about it. I can tell when he wishes she was here, but, I just can't find the words, so I don't say anything at all. I just remind him why he's here and why he should be here. Funny how twisted fate is.


Will and I are two years apart and we moved to Florida within 2 years of eachother. We both lost our parents and had step parents from HELL, and yet in the end, we both end up forever intwined in the fate that brought us together. It's cosmic. And I believe it's destiny.

We got a little sample paper of Armani Code in the mail. -[mack]- ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* p.s. I love you, Stinky, you're my one and only. p.s.s. RIP Ruth. Your son is in good hands. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

OMG! You would not believe where I am right now! I'm in m mom's office at her work! It's crazy cool. She even let me do faxes for her! That was the shit! Haha, her boss came up and was like "Don't you be looking at the porn young lady, or I'll have to tell your mother". Haha, goofy guy. Anyway, I'm going to be excited about this for a while. I like this office work. 'Tis fun. Okay, NEWS! Yesterday was Christmas. It was fairly good this year. No one fought, got a call from Justin (Jake's brother) and he wished me a merry christmas and said his dad was doing better. That's great. I love Jake's dad. Never met him in person, but I've seen pictures and have carried hour long convorsations with the guy. He's almost like Jake was. One difference, Jake believed in music more than anything. Music=life. That's what we always used to say. I got a cell phone for Christmas, that was my main present. Got lipglosses, make-up stuff, calender, year long passes to BG (Aunt Judy), scrapbooking scissors, photo album, fye $50 giftcard (YAY! I'll spend it all tonight! Haha.) and a make up bag. This is what I got from Will: cute stuffed puppy, cherry blossom lotion and perfume to go with the bath stuff Urian got me, Eragon, and The Circle Opens quartet (Magic Steps...etc.) and that's it from him. I just realized we both got eachother 8 presents. Haha, go us for being predictable and getting the same amount. Anyway, I had a good Christmas altogether. OH! AND UNLCE MIKE MADE ASO RIBS!!!! His ribs are the only ribs I'll eat, ya know. Because they're muy rico! I tired. Time for nappy poo with Gir?? I love the little TACOS! -[mack]- ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* p.s. Stinky, you is the best! Love you!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Again and again and again. So, my beloved is over and I'm already excited for Christmas because he'll be able to be with me. Mom asked me an array of questions this morning about who's coming with whom and why their going where their going and why they aren't going where they're not going. Mom also wants me to go over to Casey's and get my gifts from them. Why not do it when I'm going over there for New Year's? Geez. Not like I can't wait 5 days later for my presents. 7 days, whatever. Anyway, I'm in my room listening to Kelly Clarkson and Will's right next to me. He corrected my timing on the days. Case thinks I'll like my present. I'm sure I will. It's the thought that counts. I hope Sam liked her leopard thong... -[mack]- p.s. Me loves you STINKY!!!


MMMMMMMMERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and seasons greetings to others. I know some jewishses...? whatever. ho ho hoe.

Okay, so, I don't have much time to post cuz I'm at Maria's house, but I HAVE to say that going to Epcot with the chorus from our school was FANTASTIC!!! I had so much fun, even though I had a really bad headache. I've been getting those a lot lately, and my mom and I think it's because of my Chiari Malformation. [Growth on my brain stem.] Anyway, so I'm going to the doctor on Friday morning at like 8am. My week is SUPER busy. Casey wanted to know if I was coming over before Christmas because they had a present for me. I'm so glad that they think of me. Makes me feel special, you know, like I'm part of the family. So, I helped Maria wrap some presents. I have NO idea what I'm getting for Christmas, except for the fact that I'm getting a cell phone. I put it on my list, and I over heard my mom talking. Bad on her part cuz she talked about all this while I was in the room. I mean, I was like 3 feet away. Maybe she thought I couldn't hear her or something. Anyway, Maria wants me to show her my page. Cya!!! -[mack]- ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ p.s. she has the squigglies!! p.p.s. I love my Stinky! I don't get to see him until Thursday/Friday! WAAAA!!!!!!!!!! <><><><><><> <3 <3

"Jinkies" isn't who I thought she was! The Humane Society called me and said that Jinkies wasn't the one at the PetsMart store, so, they're looking up her name for me. I truly hope she wan't adopted. I NEED THAT CAT! Yeah, well, okay, I'm going to go play the Sims, c ya!

-[mack]- ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* p.s. These orange slices are gross! BLECK! <3 <3 <3

I am in love. I bet you can't guess what and/or whom with. Three things. In this order: Will, singing, Dawson's Creek. Degrassi's still my favorite though. Wouldn't miss it for the world, but lately, I've fallen in love with everything Dawson's Creek is about. They were making fun of me in 4th period because I watched it. I don't care, I'll continue to watch it until it's completely illegal. Then I'll watch it nonstop with the lights off so it will ruin my eyes too. Ha-ha. Anyway, they're losers. Dawson's Creek friggin' rocks. r-o-c-k-s, rocks. My nose is feeling funny. I want to wash myself. I received a second degree burn after school when I got in the car with my mother. Lemme tell you, her car is dangerous. Stay away! I think I'll have a scar that looks like a cresent moon. I woulnd't mind that at all. Then I wouldn't have to get that tattoo and I'd only have to worry about the one with the butterfly and mermaid. I <3 mermaids. If I were a mermaid, I'd be the prettiest mermaid ever and I'd rule their damn asses. Then again, if I were all alone and without anyone to comfort me and behold my presense, it might not be all that worth it. Besides my deadly water phobia, I don't like being alone all that much. I need sleep. And sex....HAHA! Kidding. Just wanted to gross you out. Later. -[pUnkieAnGel]- ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* p.s. Will kissed my boo boo! I love you, William! p.p.s. HAHA! THE NUTCRACKER! CLARA! HA! [slaps knee] <3 <3 <3 <3 <3